Almost every community has a document nobody reads.
It sits in a pinned post or a linked page, it opens with a line about how this is a space for respectful discussion, and it runs to nine hundred words of things that were obviously copied from somewhere else. No harassment. No hate speech. No spam. Be kind. Respect diverse perspectives. Violations may result in removal at the discretion of the administrators.
Everything in it is true and none of it does any work.
I want to make the case that a code of conduct is one of the highest leverage pieces of writing in a community, and that most creators are writing the wrong document entirely. They are writing a legal shield when they should be writing a set of instructions.
The two documents hiding inside one
The confusion comes from the fact that community guidelines are trying to do two very different jobs at once.
The first job is enforcement. If you have to remove somebody, you want to be able to point at a sentence and say, here is the thing we agreed on. That job wants clear prohibitions, a stated process, and no ambiguity.
The second job is culture. You want new members to read something in their first ten minutes that tells them how people behave here, what is welcome, and what will get them a warm reception. That job wants specificity, warmth, and examples.
Most creators write only the first document and then wonder why it has no effect on behavior. Prohibitions do not teach people how to act. They only tell people what will get them thrown out, which is information almost none of your members need.
Write both. Keep them separate. The culture document goes where everybody sees it. The enforcement document can live one click away for the small number of times you actually need it.
Start by writing down what already happens
Before drafting anything, spend twenty minutes doing something most creators skip. Scroll through the last month of your community and write down the behaviors you were glad to see.
Somebody answered a question that had been sitting unanswered for two days. Somebody shared work that was clearly unfinished. Somebody disagreed with you in public and it went fine. Somebody welcomed a new member by name before you got there. Somebody said they were struggling and three people replied without trying to fix it.
That list is your actual culture. It is far more useful than any set of values you could invent, because it already happened, which means it is achievable and it is recognizable to the people who did it.
Now write the same list for the behaviors that made you wince. Not the dramatic ones. The small ones. Somebody posted a link to their own thing with no context. Somebody answered a beginner question in a tone that was technically correct and made the beginner disappear for a month. Somebody turned every thread into a discussion about their own situation.
Those two lists are the raw material. Everything in your guidelines should trace back to something on one of them.
Be specific enough to be uncomfortable
The difference between guidelines that work and guidelines that do not is almost entirely specificity.
Be kind is not actionable. Nobody thinks they are being unkind. The member whose replies drive newcomers away believes he is being helpful and direct.
Compare that with something like this. When somebody shares work here, respond to what they were trying to do before you point out what is wrong with it. If you cannot do both, do the first one.
That sentence tells a specific person what to change. It is quotable. You can link to it in a private message without having to explain yourself. And crucially, it is a rule somebody could actually break without realizing, which means it is doing real work.
A few more examples of the shape I am describing.
Instead of no self promotion, try this. You can absolutely mention your own work. The test is whether somebody reading your post would get something from it even if they never clicked your link.
Instead of respect diverse perspectives, try this. You are welcome to disagree with anything here, including things I say. Argue with the idea and not with the person who had it, and assume the other person is smarter than their worst sentence.
Instead of no low effort posts, try this. Before you ask a question, tell us what you have already tried. Not because you have to prove anything, but because it gets you a much better answer.
Notice that each of these explains why. That is not decoration. A rule with a reason attached survives contact with a member who wants to argue about it.
Say what this place is not for
The most useful paragraph in a code of conduct is often the one that describes what the community is not.
This is genuinely uncomfortable to write, because it feels like turning people away. It is, and that is the point. A community that is for everybody is for nobody in particular, and the people who join it under a mistaken impression are the ones most likely to be unhappy and to leave a bad taste behind.
So say it plainly. This is not a place to find clients. This is not a beginner space, and if you are just starting out you may find the pace frustrating. This is not somewhere to get medical advice, and members here are not qualified to give it. We do not do politics here, not because it does not matter, but because this is not where we do it.
Every one of those sentences prevents a future conflict. Written down in advance, it is a boundary. Said for the first time in the middle of an argument, it is a judgment call somebody will resent.
Name the process, briefly
Members do not need a legal appendix. They need to know three things.
What happens if somebody breaks a rule. Say that you will usually talk to the person privately first, that repeated problems mean removal, and that a small number of things mean immediate removal. Name those things specifically. Harassment of another member, threats, and posting somebody else's private information are the usual list.
Who to tell if something goes wrong. Give a name and a route. A member who has to guess how to report a problem often decides it is not worth it, and then quietly leaves instead.
Whether reports stay private. Say yes if the answer is yes. This one sentence increases reporting more than anything else you can write.
That is three short paragraphs. If your process section is longer than that, you are writing for an audience of imagined lawyers.
Put it where people actually are
A pinned document in a channel nobody visits has almost no effect. The guidelines need to appear at the moments when behavior is being formed.
In the join flow, as something people see before they get in rather than after. In the welcome message, as one short line with a link rather than a wall of text. As an occasional reference in normal conversation, which is the most powerful placement of all. When you reply to somebody with a light touch and mention the norm, everybody watching learns the rule without anyone being lectured.
And once a year, read the thing out loud yourself. If any sentence makes you cringe, or if you notice a rule you have quietly stopped enforcing, fix it. A guideline you do not enforce is worse than no guideline, because it teaches members that the document is decorative.
A shape you can copy
If you want a structure to start from, this one works well and fits on a single screen.
One short paragraph on who this community is for, written as an invitation rather than a filter.
Three to five specific norms, each one sentence with a reason attached, drawn from the behaviors you were glad to see.
One short paragraph on what this place is not for.
Three lines on process. What happens, who to tell, whether it stays private.
One closing line in your own voice. Something that sounds like you rather than like a policy.
That is maybe four hundred words. People will actually read four hundred words. And unlike the nine hundred word version, this one will change how somebody behaves in a thread next Tuesday, which is the only test that matters.
Write it this week, before you need it. Codes of conduct written in a calm week are generous and clear. Codes of conduct written the day after an incident are always a little bit angry, and members can tell.